I have a outline and I have to prepara for draft. Can you speak and give for me comment? I hope you can help me, bescause I will have a exam in this week. thanks you ^^
- People are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. It is used in business, education, electronics, mechanical , and entertainment..
- Despite many benefits of computers, there are also risks and problems from a constant prolonged usage of this device.
- Computers threaten human health by affecting eyes, brain and some other body parts. It causes of memory loss disease, insomnia disease...
- Also, it not only threaten the health of humans, but also make people so lazy and not think to anything.
- In addition , many people think that computers is very important to their life. And they view it as their best friend. However, I don't agree with comments.
- In conclusion, depending on computers have many risks and problem in health or society.
- We can't do work on computers because it accustomed on using the computers.
I have a essay that talk about " we too dependent on computers. I hope people will comment for your essay.
Computers are convenient devices that many of us use daily. They are used almost everywhere and have become an integral part of our lives. It allows us to work from house, stay in contact with friends and family , know many important information on the world and entertainment...This is the reason why people are becoming dependent on computers in a way or another . In my opinion, I think that If we use too computers, it will lead to many serious healthy effects.
First of all, computers affect to the health of human. If you're at the computers all day, you may damage your eyesight and may also develop backache. According to Thanh Nien newspapers, about 1000 persons older than 18 revealed that 82% used frequently the computers , 42% spent over three hours daily in front of a computers screen. As you know, sitting on front of a computers for long is dangerous for your eyes. It make your eyes dry, tired eyes, dizziness, especially is myopia that has caused eye problems to adults and even teenagers. Not just that, it can also effect some body parts such as brain, neck, fingers... Therefore, using a computers is very important to keep a good healthy in our life and not to use anything too much. Computers should be used only for a few hours in a day, it will make you fell comfortable better than when you sit front of a computers all day.
Second, computers make people so lazy and not think anything. This is definitely a bad thing, especially for the younger generations. Because they rely on computers for everything , from paying bills, to applying for jobs, for online shopping, even though do homework... For example, if we want to find information, we can just type in the words and get information in just seconds. Not only that, computers also serve as a online shop because for those who can't find time to go to the shops to buy things, so they can always order things online. It saves time for them. Not just that, the people sitting in front of a computers all day, they lack experience in daily life, in outside world. And effect your relations with your family, if you spend too much time at computers and no attention to them. You can take part in many outdoor activities instead of sitting working or playing games on your computers.
In contrast, many others thinks that computers has many functions such as: listen to music, read newspaper, communicate to each other, find information for learn,...for example if your family is too far away from you, you can talk to them and send a message. You can also relax on computer by playing games, show video or do what you want...Beside computers can also help you save important documents, it will help you find information faster... However, If you too dependent it, it will bring many disadvantages that you not imagine. As a result, you can become a passive person and lazy thinking. A lot of people become addiction computer especially the children, they can front of computers all day that not relax, not eat and drink. So, we shouldn't spend too time to use computers, instead of we should take part in many activities outdoor.
In conclusion, I agree with you that computers bring many advantages for us, but it also affects to the life of us. That is the reason why we not too dependent on computers, this is a bad habit . So we should use computers to suitable for working, learning...
pleace tell me about correction and what's about the logic ???
11. Are we too dependent on computers?
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity doesn't have computers which is necessary for workers, scientists and students .Therefore, people depend on computers which they do everything necessary or unnecessary. Computers users ignore risks and problems of using this electronic machine. Computers threat human health's which affect on eyes, brain and macules and more .it's not only threat human bodies but also destroys relations and makes people so lazy.
Computers users suffer from diseases and health risks .They don't known that setting on front of computer for a long time is very dangerous. Radiation comes from screen affect on eyes which computers users cannot see everything clearly with high resolution or real scene. Magnetic field affect on brain which can't arrange memories correctly. Computers also affect on macules because the main substances in blood doesn't reach to macules which need those substances to make power and move.
Computer cuts all relations between people .Computer users who work on the computer for long time haven't enough time for talking or contacting with society .The real communication when people talk directly from speaker moth to listener ear so the relation complicated with computers users and other especially when they use it for long time .another problem when we depend on computer which makes people so lazy .The biggest problem when the computers stop working ,people cannot do computer work because they accustomed on using the computer.
In conclusion, depending on computers have many risks and problem in health or society.
Your essay had a lot of grammatical errors and lacked coherence.
Also you failed to adress the topic "are we too dependent on computers?"
It adressed the issue "Effects of prolonged usage of computers" instead...I edited the essay ...
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity that doesn't have computers. Workers, scientists and students find computers very necessary for their work. Therefore, a lot of people depend on computers to do most activities whether necessary or unnecessary. But there are risks and problems which could result from a constant prolonged usage of this ubiquitous device. Computers threaten human health by affecting the eyes, brain and some other body parts. Also, it not only threatens the health of humans, but also ruins relationships and induces indolence.
Sitting in front of a computer for long has adverse effects. Radiation from the screen affects the eyes, making it difficult to identify objects in high resolution. A magnetic field, generated by computers, also harms the brain; therefore resulting in jumbled thoughts or memories. A common symptom of computers' adverse effects is restless sleeping. When using a computer, the brain is constantly moving like a water turbine. Therefore, after prolonged use, the eyes are strained, the brain is on maximum is still expecting more work and so results in kicking and turning while sleeping.
Health is not the only 'individual' to be devastated by prolonged computer usage; relationships are also hit hard too. Computer users who work on the computer for long periods of time, create less time for interaction with their society. The advent of social networking sites might be seen as a solution to that problem, but "face to face" interactions are beneficial once in a while. Over-dependence on computers creates room for laziness too. People tend to disregard learning to do some things the manual way. Thus, a computer break-down would leave them helpless until the computer is repaired.
Although this ever-present device has improved our world and way of life dramatically, it does not benefit us to be overly dependent on them.